SPOILERS: minor ones for Singularity, Rites of Passage
DISCLAIMER: This story is written entirely for entertainment and is not intended as an infringement against the copy written material that belongs solely to Showtime, MGM/UA, Gekko Films, et al. I'm only playing with their characters and will return them as soon as the story is finished. The following story is the property of the author and is not to be copied, or published without the express, written consent of the author.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: What do you do with teenagers with a mind of their own? Not that mine are that age yet, although they *do* have that mind-thing already, <BG>.

NB: Cassie's cooking dinner in this story. Go to the Miscellaneous page for a recipe of her Panladad.

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"I don't *want* to go to Uncle Michael's," Cassandra yelled, desperately raising her arms up in the air. "Why don't you get that?"

"We are going there for Christmas, Cassandra. Uncle Michael has invited us and we've accepted. End of discussion," Janet Fraiser said firmly, glaring at her teenage daughter, daring her to object one more time.

"I'm not going." Cassie placed two hands solidly at her hips and threw a challenging look at her mother.

"Yes, you are. You'll love it, you'll see. Aunt Lauren is preparing a nice Christmas dinner for us. We can't disappoint her."

"I don't care. I don't want any fancy dinner." Cassie ran away, yelling over her shoulder. "They're not my family anyway..."

BANG.

Janet Fraiser blinked at the sound of the door being slammed shut by her teenage daughter and was about to run after her then tiredly gave up. She sank down on the chair by the kitchen table, leaning her head wearily in her hands. She sighed. For now she had no energy left to quarrel with Cassie, let alone think about what had gotten into the girl in the first place.

>>><<<

"This was *not* a boring mission, Jack," Daniel Jackson, the only civilian of the SGC's first contact team objected as the four team members walked down the ramp.

"Oh, come on, Daniel!" Jack complained, stopping to emphasize his point with some unnecessary body language. "There wasn't even a bug nagging us."

"I have never seen insects nagging, O'Neill," Teal'c said with a frown.

"Exactly," Daniel said, looking back at the team leader with a glow of enthusiasm still shining through in his eyes. "Leaving us plenty of time to examine the remaining structure. I think General Hammond is going to be pleased if he finds out..."

"Oh, puh...lease," Jack interrupted him. "As if Hammond wants to know all those details..." He was about to come up with more, but Major Carter looked back over her shoulder, stopping him in mid-sentence.

"At least we came back in one piece, Sir," she smiled.

O'Neill's face lit up. "I can go home tonight. Janet it so *not* going to keep me this time." The whining forgotten he led the team through the blast doors and they all headed to the infirmary for the post-mission check up.

>>><<<

Half an hour later Jack dressed himself, glancing at the female doctor. Fraiser normally made herself heard one way or the other; either in a good mood, rambling on or worriedly yelling orders at her staff. Now, she had been quiet through the whole procedure, efficiently doing her job without saying more than needed.

Something was wrong. He knew it. "Doc?" he queried, dragging her attention. "You okay?"

Fraiser looked up from the papers she was filling in. "Sorry Sir?"

Jack drew one knee up to fasten the laces of his shoe. "Everything okay? You don't seem yourself," he repeated.

His question startled her. "Fine, Sir," Janet tried to come up with something as she looked up at him, taking in the dark brown eyes examining her with concern. She couldn't just brush him off with nothing. He of all people deserved better. She threw her pencil on the table and sighed. "Cassie and I are having some trouble lately. She's..."

He lifted his brow and without losing eye contact with her he fastened his other shoe laces before standing up. "She's what?"

"I don't know," Fraiser apologetically shook her head then looked down. "She's driving me nuts."

O'Neill grabbed a chair, pulled it closer and sat down, leaning forward over the table. "So, what's it all about?"

"She's so stubborn lately. When I say yes, she wants no. If I need to go to the right she wants to go to the left. She doesn't want to come home anymore, hanging out with friends on the streets until after eleven. It's just... difficult," Janet tried to explain.

"Sounds like teenager problems to me," Jack shrugged.

Janet looked up. "I know. It's just that I have no idea what to do about it. What can I allow and what's intolerable, you know? Where do I draw the line and why? She is so persistent and won't listen to anything I say. She even..." Janet swallowed.

O'Neill grabbed her hand. "What?" he asked softly, taking in her hesitation.

"My brother wants us to come over for Christmas and I've said yes. But now, Cassie doesn't want to go. She said she's not going; that it's not her family anyway," Janet sniffed.

"Hey..." Jack squeezed her hand. "You're being too hard on yourself. She's being obstinate which is probably just an age thing and she's using everything she can think of to get to you."

Janet looked up at him. "You think so?"

"Yes," he said confidently. "You're a terrific mom and she's a terrific kid, being a bit difficult. Don't let her attitude get to you. You want me to talk to her?"

She sighed in relief. "Yes, please. If you want to do that..." For the first time that morning a smile appeared on her lips. "Sometimes I think she just needs a father, too. And she really looks up to you."

O'Neill rose to his feet. "Okay. I'll stop by tonight. Everything will be all right, don't worry."

>>><<<

Janet Fraiser sat in the kitchen, dinner prepared and ready. The table was set, too, the only thing missing was her daughter. She sighed heavily, then put dinner on the table and decided to start eating without Cassandra. No need to let it get cold, she thought angrily.

At that moment the door flew open and Cassandra stepped inside. "Oh, hi, mom. I didn't realize it was that late. What's for supper?"

"Where were you?" Janet demanded.

Cassandra threw her mother an annoyed look. "With friends. Nothing special. Does it matter?"

"Yes, it does. I was waiting for you, dinner was ready," Janet glanced at her daughter, expectantly.

"I already told you that I didn't realize it was that late. I'm sorry, okay?" Cassie burst out. "Now can we please eat?" She stuffed her plate full with rice and vegetables and started eating.

Janet sighed, giving up for the moment and followed her daughter's example. They were almost finished when somebody knocked on the backdoor. "Yo! Anybody home?"

Cassandra jumped up, a wide grin appearing on her face. "Jack!!!" She quickly opened the door and nearly threw herself into his arms, hugging him intensively. "Mom, it's Jack," the girl rambled on, pulling the older man inside.

"Wow, Cass, easy..." O'Neill protested, smiling widely. "I bruise easily."

Cassandra stepped back, examining the man in front of her. "What?" She briefly looked at her mom, and then looked back at him. "What have you done to yourself this time?"

"Nothing, Cass. Nothing," he assured her, spreading his hands wide out, turning around on his heels. "See? I'm all in one piece."

Janet giggled then pointed at a chair. "Hi, Sir. Why don't you sit down, we're just finishing up. You want to try this, too?"

"Nah, thanks. I've already eaten," Jack apologized, rubbing his stomach.

They exchanged casual questions and answers before Jack felt the situation comfortable enough to ask, "So, what are you two doing for Christmas this year?"

Cassie fell silent, and Janet inhaled twice. Without looking at her teenage daughter, she said: "We're invited over to my brother's."

Cassandra wisely said nothing.

O'Neill nodded. "Sounds like fun."

"And you?" Fraiser tried to keep the conversation going, as she felt the building of tension.

He shrugged. "Nothing special."

"Aren't you and the rest of SG-1 spending Christmas together?" Janet wondered, knowing they had the previous years.

He shook his head and looked down. "No. Not this time. They have been occupying me for the last four Christmases, which I'm very grateful for. But they have family of their own, so I ordered them to go and spend the season with them."

Although she understood his reasoning, Janet also knew it meant he was all alone for Christmas; alone with his bad memories. It made her realize once more how lucky she was to have a daughter and it seemed all the problems they've had lately were suddenly less important.

Cassandra's face lit up, totally unaware of her mother's silent thinking. "Can I spend Christmas with you, Jack? Then you won't be alone. Please???"

O'Neill was overwhelmed by her enthusiasm, but knowing of the earlier fight between mother and daughter realized it wasn't up to him to decide. "That's sweet, but I thought you were going to your uncle's, Cass..."

"I don't *want* to go to Uncle Michael's! I don't like it there! He's boring." Cassandra spoke up.

"Cassandra Fraiser," Janet warned.

"What makes you think I'm less boring than your uncle anyway?" Jack asked, his eyes twinkling. "I can one hell of a boring old guy."

The young girl jumped up, punching him on his arm and chest. "No, you're not. You're everything *but* boring." Cassie now looked at her mother, pleadingly. "Please, mom? Can I stay with Jack? Please?"

Janet Fraiser glanced from her daughter to the Colonel, who helplessly shrugged his shoulders. She didn't want to give in to her daughter's demands after their latest fight, but on the other hand she didn't like the idea of her friend spending Christmas all by himself either.

Cassie, sensing her mother's hesitation, used her last trump, playing it out at the right moment. "Please, mom? Nobody should be alone on Christmas. You've said so yourself..."

Finally, Janet gave in. "Okay, okay. I'll let my brother know that you're not coming."

Cassie jumped up and down with excitement. "Yes!!! Thanks, mom! Great!"

O'Neill pulled a face. "Ya' think?" He smiled at the female Doctor, who was watching her daughter's enthusiasm. "I promise to take real good care of her, Doc. When do I pick her up?"

"I'm leaving tomorrow at noon. We'll be having a family dinner at Christmas Eve and I don't want to be too late," Janet said.

"I'll be here," Jack said, and then rose to his feet. He tapped with one finger at his temple as sort of a greeting, winked with one eye at Cassandra and headed to the door. "You better pack some warm clothes, because we're going to the cabin. See you tomorrow!"

>>><<<

Snow flakes slowly whirled, making little white dots on the windshield before the wiper shoved them to the sides. Jack O'Neill drove slowly over the white slippery roads, the tires crunching through the fresh layer of snow. The heater of his truck was blowing warm air into the cab, but it was still cold.

Cassandra Fraiser sat beside him, shivering from the cold despite the woolen sweater and winter parka she was wearing. She was blowing some warm air on her frozen fingers, keeping an eye out on the road. "Are we there yet?"

"Almost," Jack answered, glancing at her. "You're not having second thought, are you?"

"No!" she called out. "Of course not!"

"Good. I'm pulling over... Hopefully the supermarket has some food left for fools who haven't got their Christmas dinner planned yet." O'Neill parked the car, jumped out and together they rushed inside.

A quick scan through the store told them there wasn't much left to prepare a cozy Christmas dinner.

"I'm sorry, sir," the lady behind the counter told them. "You'll have to settle for canned food. We've got soup, meat and vegetables... it's not as good as fresh, but it *is* late already."

"We know," Jack looked at Cassie. "How about a deep frying pizza?"

The girl was lost in thoughts. She looked over her shoulder, then back at the woman behind the counter. "You've got apples, right?" The woman nodded. "Potatoes?" Cassie wanted to know. Another nod. She turned to Jack, her face thrilled with enthusiasm. "You know, I could try to make some Panladad."

Jack frowned. "Panladad? Sure! Knock yourself out. What is it?"

"It's something my mother used to make," a somber expression replaced the happiness for a brief moment. "I think I remember how she did that. It's not difficult. You'll love it!" Cassandra now turned back to the lady. "Do you have some pork that I can cook?"

"Cook?" the woman shook her head. "I only have some packages of sealed bacon. You'll have to bake that."

Cassie looked disappointed.

"Hey, we'll take the bacon," Jack said. He walked off toward the right aisle and came back with two packages of bacon, holding them up high in the air. "When Plan A doesn't work you'll have to go to Plan B. It will work out great, Cass," he encouraged her.

Cassandra nodded. "Okay. Let's take the deep frying pizza for tonight then and we'll have Panladad tomorrow night."

They stuffed everything in paper bags, Jack paid the bill and they carried it all back to the truck.

>>><<<

Ten minutes later, Jack parked the truck in front of his mountain cabin. After carrying all their stuff inside, Jack worked to get a fire going. Soon after, the flames were slowly spreading warm air through the cold wooden den and the pair sat close to the fire, gulping hot steaming coffee.

"You wanna tell me what was so bad about visiting your uncle?" Jack asked, breaking the silence.

"I..." Cassie hesitated. "I don't really know. We didn't have Christmas on Hanka. Something similar to it, though, but... "

"But?"

"I guess I don't really like Christmas. It just doesn't feel right, celebrating this with Janet and her family. I mean... "Cassie stopped in mid-sentence, a silent sob making her shiver.

"You think it's not fair to your own family. Is that it?" Jack guessed, moving closer to the younger girl to wrap an arm around her shoulder for comfort.

A single tear rolled down her cheeks. "Yes. I can't betray my own parents, sister and brothers, can I?"

Jack shook her slightly. "Hey... come on. It's okay to miss your family. It's okay to feel sad. You've lost a lot, Cass."

Cassie sobbed, more tears following the first now. Jack pulled her closer, hugging her and gently rubbed her back. "There's nothing in the world that can bring them back, Cass. Believe me, I know. I also know that there's not a day that you won't be thinking about them, whishing you could embrace them one last time, longing for one last kiss goodnight. You'll just have to live with that. But remember that the family you've got now loves you, too. You're not alone, okay?"

"I know," the girl wiped her tears away. "It's just hard. Especially around this time of year."

"Loving this family and this life doesn't make you love your biological parents and family less, Cass. It's okay to make the best out of the situation. That's surviving. I don't think you parents would have wanted you to give up, now do you?" Jack took out a tissue and handed it to Cassandra before running one hand tenderly through her long blond hair.

Cassie shook her head. "No, they would have wanted me to move on. You're right."

"Have you talked to Janet about this?"

"No. Would she understand? Or would she think I'm being ungrateful?"

"Why don't you try? You'll be surprised, Cass. You have a great new mom, who loves you very much. You should have seen her..." Jack's mind wandered off to the situation a couple of months ago, when Cassie had nearly died because of the retrovirus.

"What? When?" Cassie demanded, pulling herself away to look the Colonel in the eye.

He shrugged his shoulders. "When Nurrti was back, remember? Janet stood there, pointing a loaded gun at the bitch. She came damn close to actually shooting her. That's why Nurrti finally agreed to heal you..."

Cassandra's mouth fell open from surprise. "She did that? Cool!"

"Yeah," Jack sighed. "She risked everything, her career, her life... Got a pretty fair reprimand for it as well. All for you..."

Cassie fell silent. She wiped her face again then looked down. "She's great, isn't she?"

"Yes, she is," Jack said, then moved to place more wood on the fire. "And so are you. Don't ever forget that."

Cassandra, slowly relaxing after their conversation, looked around the place. She had been here before, but only during summertime. "We need a Christmas tree, Jack," she said.

"We do?" he pulled a face. "In that case, young lady, you better put something warm back on, because we'll have to go outside and cut one down."

Cassie's eyes started glowing. "Cool!"

All dressed up, Jack opened the little shed behind the cabin, taking out a sled and a huge axe.

"Don't you think I'm a little bit too old to go sledding?" Cassie commented jokingly.

"You are?" Jack feigned surprise. "In that case: don't you think I'm a little bit too old to carry a Christmas tree all the way back home?"

"Oh," Cassie nodded in understanding, took the ropes and started pulling. "Let's go."

>>><<<

That night the cabin was warm and cozy. Cassie was dressed in her favorite jeans and the warm woolen sweater, a pair of fur lined slippers keeping her feet warm.

She looked back at Jack, who was busy securing the tree, placing it across from the fireplace, in the middle of the room. He, too, wore jeans and a warm black sweater.

"Do you have some decoration for the tree?" Cassie asked. "That's just the perfect spot, by the way."

Jack stepped back, surveying his work. "I know. Sara always wanted me to put up the tree here. I don't know if there's still stuff left. I'll have to dig through some boxes..."

"Want me to heat that pizza while you're searching for decorations?"

Jack grinned. "Sounds like a plan. I'm starving." With that, he left to the attic filled with boxes.

Cassie, meanwhile, went to the kitchen, cleaning up then heated the stove. When it was hot, she carefully slid the pizza inside and set the timer. Filling the waiting time she took out the plates, a pizza cutter and the drinks.

When the pizza was done, she left it in the stove and went to look for Jack first. She found him, sitting on the floor in the attic, one knee drawn up, one leg stretched out. There was an open box on the floor next to him. Leaning with his head on the arm resting on his knee, he stared at something in his other hand, totally unaware of Cassie's approach. She stepped closer and noticed what he was holding.

A Christmas ornament.

It was a sweet little teddy bear with angel's wings. It had a set of holly leaves on its head, just underneath the golden angel's halo and it was wearing a small diaper strapped with a little silver safety-pin. It held a little yellow star in its hand and was sitting on a small blue cloud. There was a sign underneath, and it said: "Baby's 1st Christmas".

Cassie sighed, kneeling next to the silent man and placed a hand on his shoulder.

Without looking at her O'Neill spoke up. "Now I know why Sara hasn't taken this stuff. It's too painful for her. For the both of us."

Cassie glanced at the box, noticing there were more ornaments made for children. She picked another one out of the box. "This is so cute." It was a little Santa sitting on a rocking-horse, holding a tiny little teddy bear. "I love it."

O'Neill looked at the Christmas decoration in her hand without blinking, lost in his memories.

Cassie gently squeezed his shoulder. "Hey. It's okay to miss Charlie. It's okay to be sad."

The older man glanced at her and at her using his words in a different context. He slowly nodded. "I know. Charlie loved this stuff. Sara let him choose three ornaments each year in the store and bought them for him..."

Cassie picked the box up. "Come on. We've got a tree longing to be decorated. I bet this will look great. Charlie had a great taste."

Jack doubted. Rubbing his eyes with the palm of his slightly trembling hand he sighed heavily. "I don't know, Cass..."

"You won't betray Charlie by using these things, Jack. I'm sure he would love us to decorate the tree with it just as much as he would love to be remembered. Don't push your memories back. It's not healthy." The girl grabbed O'Neill by the arm and started pulling him up. "It's okay, you'll see," she said soothingly.

Rising to his feet Jack looked at her. "You're..."

"Way too smart. I know. Mom tells me all the time," Cassie picked up another box. "Come on, the pizza is getting cold."

>>><<<

In the end it was Cassie who had to do most of the decorating as Jack sat back on the couch, watching with his beer in one hand. She had been carefully keeping an eye on him, looking for any hint telling her either to stop or to continue.

He gave neither. He just watched silently, his eyes dark and distant.

After having put on the Christmas lights she carefully hung the ornaments on the branches. The sweet little teddy bear got the best spot, right at eye level, in the center. Decorating some branches with bows of red embroidered ribbon with shiny golden threads, Cassandra finished up by wrapping a red rug around the trunk of the tree.

Cassie stepped back to admire her work. "Wow. It's beautiful. What do you think?" She turned around, searching the Colonel's face.

He let his eyes slide from the top to the bottom of the tree. A soft smile formed around his lips as he nodded in agreement. "Just as I remember. Just how Charlie would have wanted it. It's perfect, Cass."

Relief overwhelmed her as she jumped on the couch, cuddling up against him. "Good. I'm glad you like it, too. Now, tell me more about Christmas."

"About Christmas?" Jack, startled, raised his eyebrows. "What do you want to know?"

"The meaning of Christmas. Why do we celebrate Christmas?" Cassie pulled her legs up on the couch and laid back, her head resting in Jack's lap. "It's got to have a meaning, right? It's not just about buying presents for your loved ones."

"Ya' think?" Jack absentmindedly stroked the young girl's hair. "Well. It truly is the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. Your mom must have told you about that..."

"Yes, she did. And I've read parts of the Bible," Cassie acknowledged.

"You have?" Jack was stunned. "You're way ahead of me then. I never got any further than the title."

She grinned.

"Anyway," Jack fell silent for a while, thinking. "I think, and remember that I haven't read the Book, so what do I know? I think it's more about the possible re-birth of yourself."

Cassie looked at him in surprise. "What do you mean?"

He slowly sipped from his beer. "Well, if you pay attention to it, you'll notice that people have a tendency to be a bit depressed when Christmas is getting closer. Some people are calling it 'the dark days before Christmas'. It is the time to face the past year, to evaluate the things you've achieved or chances you haven't grabbed," O'Neill stopped, looking down at the girl to see if she was still with him. "So basically it means coming to terms with yourself, before being able to live on into the next year. That's what I think is the Spirit of Christmas."

Cassie thought it over. "So you're saying that everybody needs to find their path?"

"Yeah. You could say that," he agreed. "It's the perfect time to make some major changes if you were on the wrong track, if, of course, you're ready to admit that to yourself. Or you come to the conclusion that you need to continue the path already taken... Basically it's the time to stop for a moment, think it over and decide on how to move on."

Cassandra sat up. "That makes sense," she said, nodding in understanding. "So the Christmas lights, from the tree, the stars and all, they are symbolically leading you the way, or showing you the path."

He smiled at her. "You got it. Light symbolizes life. Did that answer your question? Or was it too deep?"

"Mmmm..." Cassie said teasingly. She jumped up and headed to the cupboard. "Let's see if your Christmas Spirit shows you how to beat me at chess." Pulling out the board and pieces she carried it over to start a game.

>>><<<

The next day slowly went by. It had been snowing all morning, turning the environment into one big white snow-mantle. The two of them went for a long walk through the snow, enjoying the scenery, the silence and the peace.

They spent the afternoon together playing another game of chess, drinking hot chocolate with whipped cream and little marshmallows to get warm again after their time outdoors.

While Jack went to chop more wood for the fireplace, Cassandra went to prepare the Panladad. She peeled the potatoes and apples, then cooked them on the stove. She used a frying pan to prepare the bacon and when it was all done, she mashed it all together.

Getting the plates ready, Cassie dished the Panladad up, spreading hot steaming gravy and some molasses over it.

Jack was ready lightening the fire. He had also lit some candles and smiled as he saw Cassandra entering. "Wow. Dinner is being served."

Cassie hesitated, putting the plates on the table. "It's not exactly looking like a fancy Christmas dinner, is it?"

"Are you kidding?" Jack said. "It looks great. What's that on top?"

"Molasses..." she stammered.

"Molasses???" Jack pulled a face.

"My mom always did that..."

"Well, if your mother thought it was good then let's try it." He pulled the girl closer, hugging her. "Come on, I'm sure it tastes great. It smells delicious."

Reassured by his reaction she sat down, taking her plate and took her first bite, watching him doing the same.

"Mmmmm, this is good," Jack nodded approvingly, licking his lips. "Delicious, Cass!"

Sighing in relief, Cassandra smiled. "It's just as I remember. My mom knew how to cook, didn't she?"

"Yes, she did," Jack agreed, taking another spoon full.

They both fell silent, enjoying their meal as suddenly the headlights of a car pulling on the driveway startled them.

Jack placed his plate on the table and got up. Before the person approaching the cabin could knock on the door, he already opened it. "Janet?"

Outside, Janet stamped the snow of her feet and stepped inside. "Hi, Sir," she greeted him.

"Mom!!!" Cassie jumped to her feet and threw herself into her mother's arms.

"Hi, hon," Janet smiled hugging her daughter before taking off her coat.

"Weren't you supposed to be at Uncle Michael's?" Cassie asked.

"Yeah, well..." Janet explained. "Christmas is just not the same without you, I guess. I wanted to come to you. Your uncle Michael in fact insisted. He, too, thought I should be with you today." She looked around, taking in the Christmas tree and didn't miss the special decoration. Glancing at her friend and daughter she wondered what they had been up to.

Jack smiled. "We were almost done. Are you hungry? Cassie cooked something great," he offered.

"She did?" Janet asked in surprise. "What is it?"

Cassie quickly left to get her mother a plate filled with her home-made Panladad. "Try it. My... other mom used to make it all the time."

Janet sat down, taking the plate from her daughter to taste it. "Your mother used to make this? Wow, honey! I love it. You should make this more often."

"Are you sure?" Cassie asked doubtfully.

"Of course I am!" Janet studied her daughter, and then suddenly saw a pattern in Cassie's behavior. Moving over, she enfolded the girl in a big hug. "You can always talk to me about your family, honey. I know you miss them a lot and I know it must be hard on you. But I'm here for you, always, okay?"

The girl sobbed, burying her head deeply in her mother's neck.

Janet softly stroked her over her back. "I love you, Cassandra Fraiser," she soothed.

"Love you too, mom," Cassie answered when she had regained control, wiping the tears off with the back of her hand. "And I'm proud to have you as my mother now."

Jack, comfortably leaning back in his chair, watched the scene in front of him with a huge smile on his lips.

As they, suddenly aware of his presence, looked into his direction he slowly lifted his beer in the air. "Merry Christmas."

Cassie's eyes searched his. "The Spirit of Christmas, huh?"

He slowly nodded. "Oh, yeah..."

>>> THE END <<<

Chez Corine